Well... As you can see, I have fallen off the band wagon with my Online Journal. But I am climbing back on. Letting go of the failure behind me and moving onward.
Welp! Something I am learning about myself, and people in general, as I reflect and observe, is the "INFANTILE DEFAULT". Talking to someone today, they were describing how they have lived here for 3 years... and really hadn't made any friends besides their boyfriend because "people here aren't friendly". I asked, "What about your boyfriend... does he have good group friends?". "Well", she replied, "No, he doesn't either. And he has been here since he was 8". I began to think about the way she was speaking; it was as if there was some external curse around her life where for some unexplainable reason... good friends and experiences weren't happening. But, could it be, that maybe something external wasn't the problem, but rather it was a byproduct of something going on INTERNALLY?
It is easy to blame the weather for your newly planted garden (located on the pavement) for not growing. But, if you just take a look at your own actions, and realize that you are planting seeds in a place where they can't or won't grow, you will take an internal shift, plant your seeds in good soil and start to see that it wasn't the weather at all! In fact, it was your own internal assumptions leading you to unfruitful outcomes.
This happens in our work-life, our intimate life, our friendships, and our faith. Things in our lives invariably present issues and problems to deal with. That is life (sorry if this is your first time realizing this). A root issue and default we respond with is the "infantile" response. A baby really can blame the external world for not meeting its needs; it is helpless to get food, clothing, or love without the giver. But, in some areas of our lives, we don't grow out of the "WAH WAH WAH" reflex from infancy. When a child grows up, crying when hungry is unacceptable. A young man or woman can just go get food for themselves.
When we encounter issues like making friends, or communication with a loved one, our immediate reflex is to blame the other/s or external parties in our drama. But, if we dare to dig deeper, take a gut check, stop blaming the external, we might just find the real solution is within us. For instance, lets take communication. Your significant other is "JUST NOT COMMUNICATING"!!! Much like your planted garden on the pavement is "JUST NOT GROWING"!!! Could it be possible, that you haven't learned to listen? You may have not learned to set the stage where effective communication can happen. Instead, you pout, wine, cry, and beg... like an infant unable to stand up and walk over to get what it wants. This is the equivalent to jumping on your seeds that won't grow on the pavement (not helpful, and now you have ruined the seeds). But the truth is, in matters of life, we are to be "mature and not lacking anything" (James 1:4-8). Instead, if you take a gander inward, quite possibly you might find a better solution to your problem than the external factors bending the laws of physics and human interaction to fit your infantile default.
Jesus said, "He cuts off every branch that doesn't bear fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so it becomes more fruitful". This is just plain good sense. But he wasn't just talking about gardening... he was talking about the condition of our insides! "No branch" he says, "can bear fruit on its own, but must remain in the vine". He goes on to say, that he is the VINE and we are the BRANCHES! If we remain in him, we can begin to bear fruit, and he will continue to work on us.
Look at your life, humble yourself, study the word, pray to the Lord for wisdom and find yourself a godly solution.
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