WORK WORK WORK

One of the ways I am continuing to grow is present in this verse:

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving".

When we get sucked into needing to please everyone, and needing to be affirmed by the words of men, we can then begin to compromise the work of the Spirit within us.  Our need to be noticed and acknowledged begins to take precedence over pleasing our heavenly Father and submitting to His guidance.  In our attempt to be seen as effective and valuable, we actually become less effective and vulnerable to manipulation, intentional or self-contrived.

I pray for myself, as well as for everyone, that we will run into more and more opportunities to grow and be tested in this area.  I want to show God and myself, that my commitment to Him is real.  Pray for me. 

Soli Deo Gloria

Ian

AND I am Lame

Well... As you can see, I have fallen off the band wagon with my Online Journal.  But I am climbing back on.  Letting go of the failure behind me and moving onward.

Welp! Something I am learning about myself, and people in general, as I reflect and observe, is the "INFANTILE DEFAULT". Talking to someone today, they were describing how they have lived here for 3 years... and really hadn't made any friends besides their boyfriend because "people here aren't friendly".  I asked, "What about your boyfriend... does he have good group friends?".  "Well", she replied, "No, he doesn't either. And he has been here since he was 8".  I began to think about the way she was speaking; it was as if there was some external curse around her life where for some unexplainable reason... good friends and experiences weren't happening.  But, could it be, that maybe something external wasn't the problem, but rather it was a byproduct of something going on INTERNALLY?

It is easy to blame the weather for your newly planted garden (located on the pavement) for not growing. But, if you just take a look at your own actions, and realize that you are planting seeds in a place where they can't or won't grow, you will take an internal shift, plant your seeds in good soil and start to see that it wasn't the weather at all!  In fact, it was your own internal assumptions leading you to unfruitful outcomes.

This happens in our work-life, our intimate life, our friendships, and our faith.  Things in our lives invariably present issues and problems to deal with.  That is life (sorry if this is your first time realizing this).  A root issue and default we respond with is the "infantile" response.  A baby really can blame the external world for not meeting its needs; it is helpless to get food, clothing, or love without the giver.  But, in some areas of our lives, we don't grow out of the "WAH WAH WAH" reflex from infancy.  When a child grows up, crying when hungry is unacceptable.  A young man or woman can just go get food for themselves.

When we encounter issues like making friends, or communication with a loved one, our immediate reflex is to blame the other/s or external parties in our drama.  But, if we dare to dig deeper, take a gut check, stop blaming the external, we might just find the real solution is within us.  For instance, lets take communication.  Your significant other is "JUST NOT COMMUNICATING"!!! Much like your planted garden on the pavement is "JUST NOT GROWING"!!!  Could it be possible, that you haven't learned to listen?  You may have not learned to set the stage where effective communication can happen.  Instead, you pout, wine, cry, and beg... like an infant unable to stand up and walk over to get what it wants.  This is the equivalent to jumping on your seeds that won't grow on the pavement (not helpful, and now you have ruined the seeds).  But the truth is, in matters of life, we are to be "mature and not lacking anything" (James 1:4-8).  Instead, if you take a gander inward, quite possibly you might find a better solution to your problem than the external factors bending the laws of physics and human interaction to fit your infantile default.

Jesus said, "He cuts off every branch that doesn't bear fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so it becomes more fruitful". This is just plain good sense.  But he wasn't just talking about gardening... he was talking about the condition of our insides!  "No branch" he says, "can bear fruit on its own, but must remain in the vine".  He goes on to say, that he is the VINE and we are the BRANCHES!  If we remain in him, we can begin to bear fruit, and he will continue to work on us.

Look at your life, humble yourself, study the word, pray to the Lord for wisdom and find yourself a godly solution. 

Monday!

"No one gets to the Father except through me"

I met a very interesting and thoughtful young man today.  He has a big heart... but it is rather confused (as we all get).  I empathize with him... I know what it feels like to be lost, and grabbing and reaching for your faith that used to be there so tangibly.  It's like Truth and Grace were at the tip of your tongue and then in an instant, what was once felt to be there is gone.  Leaving you with unintelligible fragments of thoughts, deeds, and emotions.

How, when we find ourselves in the spiritual vortex, do we find relief and solid ground?
A: Well... It isn't a quick fix.  Nor a platitude we can simply apply and patch up.  The answer is found by walking (and it's not blowing aimlessly in the wind) in the company of the wise and faithful.  Just as Peter did when he stepped out of the boat.  He was sinking amongst the wind and the waves, right as he was experiencing the power of CHRIST!!! Reaching out his hand, Jesus rescued him... and then he kept walking along side Jesus.  Learning... Growing... Failing... Learning... and then one day... Leading.  Peter was in a process.  Jesus didn't smack him with some "SPIRIT-JUICE" and then send him on his way.  He wanted Peter to grow and become a stronger, wiser, and God-filled Peter.  Beautifully, this happens over a period of time of being faithful to follow. 

Don't Feel Like going to Church...

Sunday Morning... wake up.  6:00am.  Yup, don't feel like going to Church.  Not that I don't enjoy it... or think its a bad place to go; quite the opposite!  But, as I wake up... I don't feel very "spiritual" or feel like worshiping.  There, I said it.  And what do you do, when you are a pastor; playing on the worship team, teaching a Bible class, on a Sunday morning, where you don't feel very "into" it.  Do you fake it?  When someone needs or wants spiritual guidance, and encouragement... Do you just try and make something up off the top of your head that sounds Spirit led?  "No" is the answer.

But, that leaves me in an interesting position... I am tired, not "into" it... and a little worried about really being present in the way I need to be.   This is where I decided to trust.  Kinda like, "My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak".  If my "feelings" are my anchor... we are in a world of hurt.  What anchors me is Christ, and his leadership.  So, one leg at a time, I put my jeans on... load my keyboards and music equipment, and head to the office to get the computer for slides and get all the music ready... OK ok, I will cut to the chase. 

Here is my point, and what I experienced.  Though I was not in the right "mood", whether it was a sense of responsibility or a dedication to God's mission for my life... or both!  I showed up! And God began to change my heart through the events of the morning... and the people I am with there.  Regardless of my mood, God still moved.  By being obedient... I got to be a part of his movement.  "No one gets to the Father except through me".  This make me think of Jesus' obedience... despite his flesh that was resistant to the cross.  He sweat blood because of the anxiety of His call... but he showed up.  John 11... Jesus wept, and this life doesn't end in death!  That's the good news :)

City Serve!!!

It was a great day out at Food Lifeline.  Our team (Total of about 45 people) sorted and packed over 16,000 lbs of food!  Unreal!  My verse, to tell you honestly didn't cross my mind much today.  But as I think about it: "no one gets to the father, except through me".  This statement has the assumption that our goal is to "get to the Father".  This resonates with another thing that I heard at the City Serve Youth Rally.  The speaker pulled up Psalm 30:9.  David makes a case to God to spare him from the "pit" or grave/hell.  The reason he didn't want to go away from God's presence: Because he was concerned about where the praise to God was going to come from.  "Will the dust praise you, will it declare your faithfulness?".  

In our lives, if we want to truly advance, there must be a love for God.  But not just a love for God that is just enough to fit in Christian circles and hold hands.  A love for God that finds its residence deep within our core. 

BORED BORED BORED!!! 10/8/10 Friday

For some Odd reason... I was just bored, bored, bored.  And a friend of mine, whom I agree with, says, "Only boring people are bored".  But I couldn't shake it.  I even got a space heater for my room, and a steam cleaner for various tasks, and hung out with my friends.  Still bored.

Anyways, I think the major problem with boredom... is the fixation with the self.  It is like a bad feedback loop of, "I am not totally in it... I want to get into it... but I don't want to take the effort to get there... me... me... me...".  And my other friend, whom I also agree with, said that, "Boredom is so easily found in our 'Instant Gratification Generation'".  BRILLIANT!  We so often want everything now, and can't wait for it, or work for it.  If there isn't something there to quench our shifting attention span, we are kinda lost in the desert.

Which brings me to my verse for the week, "I am the way the truth and the life, no one gets to the Father except through me".  The speaker from the Youth Rally talked about the fact that we take God-centered scripture, and make it us centered (which may be why we can get so bored with scripture and church).  Making "Get to the father" us centered sounds like... "Get to paradise" or "avoid Hell".  But God centered sounds like: "Honor the Father" or "Glorify and magnify the Father".  If we can't even approach God, we can't honor him.  So, Jesus made a way for God to be approached so that we may do what we were created to do... Worship Him who made us and loves us, and is good beyond all things :)

 That's my Friday thoughts.  

Sometimes... you just gotta talk.

It is amazing to me the power that resides in communication.  We hear this all the time, "I just need to vent" or "I just needed someone to talk to".  Why does a person need to voice their hurt, frustration, and challenges... even beyond solving the problem?  The answer is simple.  A person can voice all these things in their own company at any time, but what they need is to verbalize it to another human... have that human really listen and care... and then, as much as possible, feel the emotion that the one communicating wants to express.  You might think, "Well this just adds more depression and no results... no solutions... just pissing and moaning!".  But you are wrong.

Imagine this person's hurt is a dark jail cell.  They are alone in it...  but when they express what their cell is like, it is as if someone walks into that empty dark place and fills it with life-giving light!  The light that comes from relationship.  I think that could be part of what Jesus was describing when he said, "Where two or more are gathered, there I am also".  Light enters our life through knowing, being known, and loving... anything else is superficial and temporary.  Because Christ also said, "No one gets to the father (who is the source of Love, and the creator of light) except through me (Christ)". 

Wednesday: Great day

I realize over and over again the importance of having mentors and people who know us, care about us, and can lead us. 

Keith Lowery, basically rocks.  Willing to say tough things.  Willing to hear me out and listen.  Willing to walk with me through questions in life and provide Godly answers.  Overall, he is willing.  And I appreciate that. 

Tuesday, Garbage day.

It was a great day.  I got to change Josh's oil in his car.  There is a sense of satisfaction in maintaining a vehicle yourself.  It's not just the money that is saved, or the saved trip and wait at the Jiffy Lube... it's about the personal satisfaction of productivity with tangible objects that require attention.  The pride I feel when I change the oil in a friends car, or my own, or for the tune up's/rebuilds I give to motorcycles is pretty spectacular.  It's not that I own the motorcycle, and it runs... it's that I own the motorcycle, I know the condition of it's various parts, and when I am riding I take joy in the fact that it runs cause I made it run again. 


Often times, we wonder if we are effective, if we make a difference, or really even capable people.  I am convinced that a large reason we have those doubts is that many things we do tend to not be concrete but rather theoretical and distant.  For instance, working with numbers on a computer screen for a cog in the business plan.  Where do we really ever get to stand back and say, "Ah, look... this is what I have accomplished and finished on my own". 

Those are some quick thoughts about changing oil. 

10/3/10

Amazing! 

Well, after a wonderful Sunday filled with technical difficulties behind the computer, I got home around 2 and began working in the shop. 

The News: "I freed the Lose Piston"! 

That's right!  It was a moment in my life that I actually video taped.  After about a quart of penetrating fluid, and an hour's worth of blows to an axe handle aimed down the cylindar, the darn thing got free.  Now, I am bagging and labeling parts and continuing on with engine tear-down and evaluation.  Pretty cool stuff. 


My thoughts on this moment: determination, patience, strength, and a plastic mallet will get you far in life. 

10/2/10

10/2/10

Today was one of those days, kinda down. And, I love the Men's retreat... but being one of the only single Adults there, and not being in my early 20's anymore, kind of a reminder of this last years disappointments/failures, call it what you will. Sometimes, it is easy for me to get wrapped around the axle about what is going on in my life, and I get this oober-self-centered mopey demeanor about me. Which I admit is lame and boring. BUT....

Went to the Evergreen Court and met the nicest ladies. We played games, laughed, and competed in one of the most intense games of Rummikub ever documented (this being the document)! I got the chance to listen to some of their stories, (some of them several times, I think she thought I wasn't getting it)... It was a blessing for me to get out of my own mind and share time with kind and bright people like these. I even got to meet Alice Shultz's mother "Rosa"!  The stories I did hear from some of these ladies were remarkable, though I only have a key-hole perspective into their lives, they were all wrought with some kind of difficult times, some joyful times, some boring times, and on and on.  It's a part of life!  I think where I go wrong is forgetting I am not alone in the human experience.  When we dwell on our own issues too much, I think we get self-focused... then we lose perspective on others and start living out of an unhealthy place; a selfish place. This is contrary to Kingdom living. 



Matthew 16:24-25 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

ps. I've been working on getting a seized piston free all night. It is hard.

Fuming or Grooming

10/1/10

Well, this morning a friend of mine and I had to go to the DMV. Thinking we would be in and out in about 30-60 minutes no problem. As it turned out, we were there for more than 3 hours. Which was lame and unexpected. However, during that time I poured into some reading and studying (iphone saves the day). Some of the things I learned really challenged me and lifted me up. I don’t really want to go into those things here… But this principle I feel I took out of that time. When things don’t go according to plan or expectation, make the most of that time rather than fume about the disappointment. My friend I was with, partly because he didn’t have an iphone, kinda just sat there and was upset about the wait the whole time. At the end, what did he gain? But, by making the most of the curveball I wouldn’t have chosen, I came away with a richer understanding of my faith in the Gospel and of my faith.

This very small picture of a good principle challenges me in bigger and deeper ways. Life hasn’t always gone the way I would have chosen, and at times I subject to the temptation of fuming rather than “Grooming”.

"Withdraw and Aberration"

Well, This second day without coffee started off with a little dizziness, and slight headache. I have been drinking morning coffee everyday for about a year and a half, so it is a strange thing to not act out my normal routine. I was completely expecting an excruciating headache to hit about 1pm, but by the grace of God it never came. The only real issue was my inability to think quickly and remember names for some reason... interesting.

The cool thing that I realized today was, while I wasn't sitting drinking my coffee... I was at my desk instead at a little before 8am (rare for any youth minister) planning out my day and being intentional. I guess you could say I hit the ground running because I decided to be present and engaged. I am wondering if I use the morning coffee as an excuse to have a 30-45 min slow-start to my morning, and then depending on the extra boost of caffeine to get me going on projects. I guess I would call that substance abuse. Using it as an escape, and being dependent on the boost it gives me in order to "function".

I think we all do this on some level... use one thing to help us escape from another. Something as simple as doing tasks around the house to avoid engaging with real issues going on in life and relationships.

Today, I felt encouraged to think about where I need to approach tasks and challenges head-on.

Until tomorrow :)

Buckling down a Viking is tough

As you know, I am a viking.  Vikings, especially this one, pride themselves on spontaneity and sporadic bouts of concentrated effort (i.e. fatal blows with one swing of the battle-axe).  But sometimes, these unquestionably wicked sweet character traits can be used as an excuse to not effectively plan ahead and be more impulsive rather than intentional.

SO!  This Viking is spending 45 days exploring the power of discipline.  Spiritually, practically, and personally things are getting buckled down.  This will be used as my online journal of what I discover.


SPIRITUALLY: 
For 7 weeks I will be exploring different spiritual disciplines utilized by many Church fathers.  This week, Starting this Journal/writing is where I begin.  (COMING SOON:

PRACTICALLY: 
No more eating out because I am too lazy to make a lunch or cook or go to the store.
All purchases over $25 must be planned and budgeted for, no spontaneous acquisitions.  
During the work-week, I will go to bed before 11:30pm and arrive at the office no later than 8:30am unless planned for. 

PERSONALLY: 
I will shave every 2 days and keep an appearance of "Pride in Hygiene".
No more caffeine (I am going to be grumpy).
No adult beverages.

These are some things I am doing!  Where could you increase your discipline to be more effective in life?


Ivan the Viking

PERFECT!

I was just thinking about perfection... and what that exactly is.

Exhaustive knowledge?
Tireless Love?
Complete Selflessness?
Having all Power?
Self-sufficiency?

Will we be perfect in heaven? If so, how are we different than God? And, if we are perfect in heaven or "sinless", will certain realities be hidden from us because we will never be equal to God? If that is the case, then we still won't have perfect intimacy with God. If sin separates us from God, and there is no sin in heaven, then what other thing exists that keeps us from perfect unity with God?

Let me know please.

Ivan